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mistersmearcase1 week off facebook. I feel a real sense of relief about some things (boy have I gotten annoyed by everyone's opinions, including my own. You know what facebook is great at getting us to splatter all over one another? Opinions) but don't quite feel like I'm doing what I meant to do by shutting down my account.
Coincidentally, I started doing this thing called Growing Gills, a writer names Jessica Abel's book/program for figuring out why you're not making time in your bullshit life for the creative things you say you want to do, and the first task is a log of how you spend your time, and mine remains internet internet internet. Other things whoosh in to fill the void. I've even been spending a little time on Twitter, which I hate.
I guess what I've been clumsily using the internet for, lo these 25 years, is the same as a lot of people: to not feel lonely in the kind of adult lives we have, which are isolating and sad. It's a half-assed tool for that and I remain convinced there must be some other response to that kind of distress that leads me to type "f" in the browser window (whereupon facebook comes up since I typed facebook thirty million times before) but I honestly, truly don't know what it is. What is it that's satisfied by exposing my brain to uninteresting, often grating superficial human contact, and what is a way to do that same thing that is less stupid?
It should be things like work and reading and writing, but today is a great example: all those things seem unrealistic to impossible right now. Brain is too itchy.
Well anyway. It's good not to be on facebook. I maintain that this is so.
Coincidentally, I started doing this thing called Growing Gills, a writer names Jessica Abel's book/program for figuring out why you're not making time in your bullshit life for the creative things you say you want to do, and the first task is a log of how you spend your time, and mine remains internet internet internet. Other things whoosh in to fill the void. I've even been spending a little time on Twitter, which I hate.
I guess what I've been clumsily using the internet for, lo these 25 years, is the same as a lot of people: to not feel lonely in the kind of adult lives we have, which are isolating and sad. It's a half-assed tool for that and I remain convinced there must be some other response to that kind of distress that leads me to type "f" in the browser window (whereupon facebook comes up since I typed facebook thirty million times before) but I honestly, truly don't know what it is. What is it that's satisfied by exposing my brain to uninteresting, often grating superficial human contact, and what is a way to do that same thing that is less stupid?
It should be things like work and reading and writing, but today is a great example: all those things seem unrealistic to impossible right now. Brain is too itchy.
Well anyway. It's good not to be on facebook. I maintain that this is so.
no subject
Date: 2018-09-18 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-19 01:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-19 01:48 am (UTC)I'm kind of sad right now that I quit when I did because my Texas trip was a year ago and I'd like to see those posts.
no subject
Date: 2018-09-19 01:51 am (UTC)I think maybe I'm nostalgic for college the way some people are nostalgic for childhood. There was usually someone to talk to. (Well and of course I was less worried about the future in a thousand ways.)
no subject
Date: 2018-09-19 02:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-19 03:04 am (UTC)(Honestly, some of my happiest memories were living in shitty, brutalist Eigenmann Hall at IU for the summer when I went to the Slavic program there.)